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Do you struggle with difficult discussions in your workplace, your volunteer life, your community? Do you often leave a meeting feeling dissatisfied? You may find yourself in situations where you argue but get nowhere. Or you are afraid to speak up and say what you really think and feel. In a meeting, one or two people may monopolize the conversation. Or a meeting seems to run smoothly, everyone is polite, but you know that you are not really getting to the heart of the matter. What makes a discussion difficult? When we have differences of opinion, belief or personality, how we feel inside and how we express ourselves can make a conversation difficult, uncomfortable or even impossible. How we deal with that conflict affects more than just the quality of the outcome. It affects the quality of our relationship with others and how we feel about ourselves. Poorly managed conflict results in unsatisfactory, often devastating outcomes. At best, it produces mediocre results. At worst, it divides people into camps and destroys relationships. Poorly managed conflict generates misunderstanding, frustration and division. It does more than just waste our time, it saps our energy. Ultimately, poorly managed conflict kills creativity. Have you ever had an experience when conflict was handled well? We have. When conflict is handled well, people don't run from disagreement. They embrace it and are able to voice their views with great passion. There certainly can be moments of considerable tension and discomfort and there is always the risk that people will descend into personal attacks, intractability and ultimatums. Yet, when people manage their conflicts well, they find the strength and compassion to keep working together through the issues. In the end, everyone feels better informed; has a deeper insight into the issues; and a deeper appreciation of each other. We call that a rich conversation - an authentic exchange of what we as individuals think and feel - our concerns, hopes, fears, expectations, perceptions. A rich conversation reflects our values and beliefs, who we are and what is important to us. At the same time, it respects the values, beliefs and concerns of others. A rich conversation generates a creative energy that transcends individual opinions, beliefs and personalities. It gets to the heart. Want to get the best out of yourself and others? Speak from your heart - you have something to contribute. Listen with your heart - you have something to learn. Regardless of who you are, your background, education or life experience, you have the capacity to transform tough situations into rich, satisfying results for yourself and for others. What you do and say does make a difference. When you get to the heart you inspire others to do the same. Then together you can create productive, sustainable solutions in even the most difficult discussions. How do we help you get to the heart in your difficult discussions? Our Personal Skills Development course helps you increase your ability to work through the conflicts that get in the way of you living a creative, satisfying life. Our Audio Series takes you through real discussions on common issues, showing how different approaches can produce vastly different results. Take a moment now to read Some Rich Conversations others have had. They are a glimpse into your own learning potential. |
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